Class is in session
8 weeks to finally build a body you're proud of, without a daft restrictive diet or a time-hogging, burpee-filled training plan. Term starts September 7th.
Priority access is for Bits app members only. Free trial counts.
Well hello there my saucy little snickerdoodle.
If you're here, I'm guessing you've tried just about everything to transform your body.
Maybe you've bounced from diet to diet, feeling like a yo-yo with legs.
Maybe you've downloaded enough workout PDFs to wallpaper your house.
Maybe you've even joined a gym... and then promptly avoided the weights section like it was full of rabid badgers.
And summer was one long "ah fuck it" with memories prioritised over macros, not a routine in sight.
But the shops have got pencil cases in the window, the evenings are drawing in, and something in you has started niggling.
So let's get down to fucking business...
What the darning hell is Blitz Your Bitz?
It's 8 weeks of fat loss, strength building, and confidence boosting for normal humans who have lives, jobs, and occasionally enjoy a cheeky biscuit or seven. We start Monday 7th September, which sets you up to blast the tits off the rest of 2026.
Up until now, you've probably quit more diets than you can remember, right? But I bet my left nipple that those moments you quit came down to a single "off plan" moment that spiralled your efforts into the bloody bin.
BYB is about grabbing your training and nutrition by the metaphorical balls, no matter where you're starting from. Then making sure when life gets in the way, or you make a slip, you keep on wiggling through to finally crush your goals.
Blitz Your Bitz is the perfect fit for you.
Because we don't expect perfection. We don't hand out gold stars for a spotless week and we don't put anyone in detention for a wobbly one.
We don't need you to be anything other than willing to give this your best shot, whatever that looks like for you.
We meet you where you are and take you on a fucking magical journey to results you can't believe.
BYB is only open to Bits app members. That's how the priority list works too, so if you're not in the app you won't get the enrolment email, the early bird price, or a place before it sells out.
Already a member? Just watch your inbox on the 27th.
Enrol early, pay less.
It really is that simple.
Wait until the doors open to everyone and you'll pay the full whack, with none of the extras.
One off payment, or split it. 8 weeks from Monday 7th September.
- 8 weeks of coached training and nutrition
- Weekly private check-ins with your coach
- Weekly live lessons and the BYB community
- + 2 months Bits membership included
Standard price, once general enrolment opens.
- 8 weeks of coached training and nutrition
- Weekly private check-ins with your coach
- Weekly live lessons and the BYB community
- No 2 months of Bits membership
What being in the app actually saves you
This is our 19th round of BYB. The previous 18 sold out to the priority list alone.
So if you're not in the app, there's a very good chance you won't get to work with us at all. Split payment available.
The BYB alumni
Not a single member transformed into a robot to see these results. Working alongside mental work loads, shift work, family commitments, overcoming fears and anxieties from previous failed attempts. We support you, whatever the weather.
But don't take my word for it
What the gang have to say during and after their BYB term.
Want in with the lot of them?
Priority access to Blitz Your Bitz is for Bits app members only. Start your free trial and you're on the list for the £169 early bird, a full day before anyone else.
Enrolment opens to app members at 12pm on Thursday 27th August.
Right, let's talk bolts and nuts, shall we?
Before I show you all the gloriously orgasmic bits and bobs that make up your BYB experience I need to make one thing clear...
Every-fucking-thing we do for you is tailored to your situation, goals, lifestyle, and past experiences.
And I know you've heard that before.
But I'll bet my left tit and my right arse cheek you've never been shown what it really means.
Until now...
PE - but without the trauma
No forgotten kit, no cross-country in the sleet, no getting picked last. When you enrol you get access to our tried and tested programs, adapted to whatever situation you're in.
Brand new
New to the gym and nervous as balls about using all the bits in there? We've got programs to lube you up.
Advanced
Want to really test your limits? You'll regret asking this, but yes, you're covered.
Training at home
Working out in your pants in the front room? We've got you covered.
A bit of both
Need a hybrid? Not a bloody drama. The programs are interchangeable should they need to be.
Throughout the 8 weeks you work closely with your coach, who can modify your workouts whenever you need. And in the community you can share form videos so we can check you're moving safely and effectively for maximum gainage.
Food tech, minus the rock cakes
We do food differently with our clients.
We don't slash your carbs like they've personally wronged you. And we don't hand out meal plans ripped from the depths of diet culture hell.
Instead, your coach builds an approach to food that works with your life, your goals, and your sanity. Take a pervy little peek at how they'll do this for you.
Nutrition in real life
Specific tactics for restaurant meals, birthday buffets, "f*ck it" Fridays and the moments when you want to inhale the biscuit tin like a Dyson on heat.
Personalised nutrition coaching
Your coach sets your initial recommendations after your initiation form. Weekly check-ins then look at what you're eating, how it's feeling, and where you're stuck. Together you make small, realistic tweaks that get results without drastic, overwhelming changes.
Ending food fuckery for good
We'll help you break the all-or-nothing patterns, ditch the guilt cycle, and stop using food to punish or reward yourself. That voice banging on about what you "should" eat will get quieter. Promise.
Your weekly breakthrough call
Imagine a Zoom call that DOESN'T bore the tits off you and actually leaves you feeling empowered, motivated, and smarter after you hang up. Assembly, but nobody faints and nobody's talking about the state of the bike sheds.
No monotone voice droning on about macros while you secretly scroll Instagram. No generic advice that has nothing to do with your actual life.
Just pure, practical gold delivered with enough personality to keep you engaged and enough expertise to make you think "bloody hell, that makes so much sense."
One big breakthrough a week, covering the shit that really matters:
Body image
Stop hating your reflection and start seeing your body as more than just decorative.
Social situations
Because hiding in your house for 8 weeks isn't a realistic option.
Mindful eating
Enjoy food without feeling the need to inhale everything in sight like it's the last supper.
Breaking all-or-nothing
Because one biscuit shouldn't derail your entire week.
Gym confidence
From "please don't look at me" to "yes, I do belong here with these weights, thanks."
This is the stuff that makes the difference between another failed attempt and finally cracking the code to sustainable results.
Each call gives you insights you can use RIGHT AWAY. Not theoretical bollocks that sounds good but falls apart in real life.
You'll leave each session with your brain buzzing, ready to tackle the week ahead. And unlike everything you were taught about oxbow lakes, you'll actually still be using this stuff long after the 8 weeks are over.
The BYB community
One of the most powerful parts of Blitz Your Bitz isn't something you can put on a features list.
It's the 2500+ gorgeous humans who have completed their education and are going through it with you. Become part of something.
The camaraderie. The support. The "been there, ate that" understanding when you confess to demolishing a family-size chocolate bar at 11pm.
Because let's be honest... life happens. You get busy. You miss a few sessions. You have a threesome with Ben & Jerry after a rough week and start saying nasty things to yourself.
And when there's no one to talk to about it? That's when you nosedive straight into "ah fuck it" territory.
But with our BYB community?
You send a message that says "I've had a week from hell," and 20 lil' nuggets who've been there chime in with understanding, perspective, and sometimes just a well-timed gif that makes you snort laugh.
No judgment. No guilt trips. No mean girls by the lockers. Just real talk from real women who get it.
This community becomes your compass, your hype squad, and sometimes the only voice of reason when your brain is screaming "give up".
Show and tell
So what makes BYB different?
- We meet you exactly where you areNot where we wish you were, not where some fitness ideal says you should be. Whether you're a complete beginner or need to get back on track, we tailor this process to your actual life.
- We expect imperfect progressWe know there will be weeks where life goes tits up. Our job isn't to shame you, it's to help you navigate those moments and keep moving forward.
- We focus on the mental game as much as the physicalBecause all the knowledge in the world won't help if your head's not in the right place.
- We've built a community that gets itNo toxic positivity, no "just push harder" bullshit. Just real support from women who understand the struggle.
- We celebrate ALL winsScale went down? Great. Scale didn't move but you can now do a push-up? Also great. You had a shit week but still showed up for yourself? That might be the biggest win of all.
Two things, in this order
You need to be a Bits app member to get the early bird price and first crack at a place. If you're not in yet, start the free trial, that's all it takes.